Sexuality : Identity

I sometimes imagine what sexual might feel like without metro, retro, hetero, or homo preceding it. Sexuality, in my world (the world of doctrine, Sunday dress, and parents-as-prophets), has always been SEXUALITY : IDENTITY. The antithesis of spirituality, never an extension of it. Something to cry over, never to celebrate. The definition of sin. Somehow, if the world outside of 583 Ransom Street sees me as redeemed, it still doesn't bring peace. In their minds, I am aberration. They see only HOMO. They call me sinner and they pray for me as they would pray for a vagrant, a prodigal daughter. And I hate that this oppresses me. I hate that my parents have effectively made religious guilt their primary method of control. But I stand shaking, with resolve like thick vapor. Before me, a choice: to let SEXUALITY : IDENTITY. become sexuality. And I think I'll find the caps lock, bold, italics, underlined font made all the difference in my self-perception. I am more than who I love.