da capo

D.C.
in the world of music, it's short for the Italian term: Da Capo--
"from the beginning."
i know, if my body can stumble across this stage,
if the bench can hold the weight of the ravage inside of me,
if I begin to study the notation of black and white before me,
the page will be littered with
D.C.
"from the beginning."
a symphony with infinite movements, no double barline,
no resting, no standing ovation, no ending.
only imperishable beginnings.
but even as the conductor's baton drips with acidic fear and paralysis,
i know what makes for beautiful music.
love, torrential and unapologetic, from my right hand.
(everything changed
the moment I talked to/saw/listened to/touched you)
logic, restrained and patient, from the left.
(it's hard enough to adapt to adaptation,
how am I to adapt to non-adaptation?)
but, as long as my veins can feel and respond to melody,
as long as the dissonance doesn't break my bones and my spirit,
as long as Your arms hold me up when I'm too weak to play anymore,
i will learn to live in the tension of
D.C.