i don't want to be a prayer request.

i don't want to be a prayer request anymore.

i don't want my twenty four years
passed around a circle of men and women
passing around kleenex and
my-child-is-worse-than-yours narratives and
anvils gift wrapped in soft snivels and carpet burned knees.
i don't want strangers to become intimate lovers with my cerebrum without
ever speaking a word to me or,
god forbid,
listening to my mind.
i don't want pharisaical prophecies or
religion tied to a stake, tied to a woman who burns
for projected sin,
for a society who waits for her flesh to sizzle and
for asphyxiation by a grace-less gospel.
in the bible (my first time ever writing the word without capitalization),
capital punishment by burning meant
melted lead poured down the throat.
some days...most days...
christians feel like executioners and
heterosexuality feels like melted lead.

i don't want to be a fucking prayer request anymore.