isolation : illusion.

"the moment i tell people i'm leaving in x amount of time,
a wall goes up. their faces change. they shut down."
i listened to the usaid wife and felt a surge of relief.
so i'm not alone?!
my mind feels as if it's been punctured by hope, isolation
slowly seeping out.
here's how this dilemma presented itself:
1. you move to another country for two, three, maybe four years.
2. you love people because that's your calling and
you have no health without community.
3. but trust necessarily precedes love and trust takes time...
two, three, maybe four years.
4. shit. trust suddenly seems pointless; love, synonymous with leaving. dilemma.
an alternative remains:
5. isolation.
but here i've gone and over-analyzed a time-and-space that hasn't
even come into existence,
i've locked the concept of love into a room with no doors and no movement.
i've assumed i'm the only person struggling with this impending relocation.
i see now the dilemma has nothing to do with circumstances but
with my own perspective.