je reste (VERB).

i'm finally here.
in the city I've left more than I have stayed,
the city formerly marked by oscillation, by airport embraces that left
your chest tight and your heart broken again
and again.
and again.
the city without my family, friends, therapist or
predictable M, Tu, W, Th, F, Sa, Su.

yesterday i almost ran my Ford Taurus into a median.
today i awoke, got high
over the thought of cleaning carpets,
the thought of exploring the woods where the trails run into me,
the thought, the sensational thought, of what it means to
continue to be someone who drives into things,
someone who gets energy from getting dirt out of carpet,
someone who runs.
it means i'm here
adapting, grieving, changing, not changing and
i'm still me.